BG Learning
The Goal is to Experience
“Everything is a win if the goal is to experience” [1]
This thought has been stuck in my mind. Perhaps because it has a hook to it i.e. every time I experience something, which is a frequent occurrence with a broad enough scope of “experience”, there is a cue for me to remember this. I guess it has this self-memetic / self-reinforcing property.
But what of it? What is the kernel of truthiness that I’m trying to latch on to here? Thinking through it [2], four aspects bubble up for me.
First is a call to, almost Buddhist-like, non-attachment. The result doesn’t matter as much. It’s the process, trying, experiencing. So what if that new recipe you tried produced mediocre results and you don’t know if it’s the recipe or your execution of it (for me, very likely the later)? What if that person you asked out rejected you? Would have been great if it worked out but still a win.
Another aspect is a call to go experience. Like how many times I’m deciding between staying in for the evening vs going out (some event, maybe meeting friends, maybe even just a walk). And when I do go, 90% of the time I’m glad to have gone. All experiences are not equal (duh). Certainly there is the obvious aspect that some are just “better” than others. Going to (most) events is better than me staying in and speedrunning through random Youtube channels, bingeing on fried maize. But there is also that some experiences are “richer”, more vivid, more variance, more transformative.
This part from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet On Love comes to mind:
But if in your fear you would seek only
love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover
your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.
I also sense a call to gratitude or at least acceptance in the statement. I notice my mind surfacing it more when something isn’t going right. Maybe the bus is delayed or simply didn’t come. Maybe it is so hot right now (waving at the heat wave) that the room feels like a dragon’s belly, and I’ve already showered three times today, and there is a trickle of sweat streaming down my back, and I don’t want to eat because eating is heating, and I dream of the late night hours when people are out and about greedily savoring and bathing in the coolness, and I think of how up north night is day because the sun is out and here night is day because the sun is not out (ha!), and oh the moon is so nice from the midnight balcony where I loiter and wait for the room to cool down. Sometimes what I’m experiencing isn’t lovely but it’s lovely to be able to experience. I unironically picture the “this is fine” meme.
Of course, it doesn’t mean passively accepting experiencing the not-nice things (both for self and for others). We can act to make things better. Note: Maybe there’s also an element of [re: gratitude and dissatisfaction] here i.e. gratitude in the short-term / day-to-day while maintaining and channeling the dissatisfaction into work on a longer run.
And that acting (agency?) also invokes a call to aliveness, because to experience is to be alive. Here I’m thinking of the idea of “finding and cultivating aliveness” which is another thought that’s been lingering on my mind this year… Anyway, it was nice “experiencing” the urge to write this out and clear the mind a bit.
Notes:
- [1] I think I first saw this as a substack post. It looks to be a fairly oft-repeated thought (at least the “goal is experience” form).
- [2] This piece came about as I was mulling over this essay where Henrik talks about hypomnēmata, practice of meditating over quotes that you found poignant and would like to shape you. That resonates with me a lot and makes me aware of how I … don’t do it. Many a times I run into (passages in) books or essays or videos or even tweets / substack posts that I find resonates with me but I don’t follow through. I just place a like, nod, move on. Many times I do bookmark or try to save it for “going through again later”, but later-später never happens. So I thought maybe I’d start doing it, starting with this sentence.